10,000 Reasons

“Do you know what it is like to have no one love you,” she asks.

No, no I don't.

I was born into a safe and protecting home with two loving parents. I had three older brothers welcoming me. I never had to worry from where my food was coming – dad always bought groceries and she always made supper. I had many pretty dresses to wear, and friends to play with. My mom sang to me, made me homemade cookies, read me stories, and my dad brought me back lego sets from his business trips. My siblings all played together, and my brother was kept home a year because we had so much fun together. I had a closet full of toys and the only thing I wanted, as a little girl, I got...A baby sister. My mom gave me 100 kisses every night. My dad drove us across the country to show us new places and people. For 13 years, my mom fought and risked her own life, to make certain we all had the fullest. At her cost, we did. And we still do. I knew love.

Her first mom told her she was adopted, and dropped her off at an orphanage. She now had a second mom. “She doesn't really love me,” she tells me. She chokes on her words.

I listen. There are times you don't have words, and you can't understand.

Earlier that day in the clinic, I was with a young boy who badly twisted his ankle. When wrapping it, I noticed that for his age of 16 years, he didn't understand English well.

“He's been out of school for too long,” the physiotherapist explained. “His kidneys don't work.”

I looked up from what I was doing.

“He needs a kidney transplant.”

“Is he on a list?” I asked.

“There are no lists here. You just have to find someone. They did once, but it wasn't a match.”

I watched the boy limp out of the room, leaning on an older brother - too small for his age. I wondered if he would ever get the kidney he needed. I didn't have words then. Neither could I understand.

When my young friend and I walk into the church, they have already begun singing:

You're rich in love and you're slow to anger

Your Name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

10,000 reasons for my heart to find.

My young friend has her head bowed and hands folded. Maybe she is seeking out meaning. Maybe she is trying to find reasons.

Inside the building, about 500 people raise their voices together. It is one thing to sing about 10,000 Reasons in the Western world, it is another thing to stand among people who have been through so much and lost so much, and here them singing the words; maybe some praying for the strength to sing the words. Many of them, when talking of desires or loses, refer back to their only Source of Hope and definite Source of Strength. In Him, I have heard them find reason after reason. In their losses, they talk of blessing.

Testimonies are inquired. A teenage girl runs to the front. First she praises God.

“Now,” she continues, “I want to thank my mama.” She pauses, looking out towards her village mother.

Then moving the microphone aside, she kneels down on the cement floor.

“No...I want to kneel for her.” Eyes in the room are not dry.

“She has done everything for me. I would not be where I am without her. Thank you for loving me, mama.”

They call her mother up, who takes into her arms, the girl she loved and raised as her own.

My heart hurts.

A second lady stands close. She looks older, more worn – even thin.

“Praise God.” She begins.

“Amen!” The room choruses.

My little friend turns to me, and cupping her hand to my ear, she tells me.

“She was very sick with cancer, but God completely healed her.”

It feel it crack.

I look to my side. She's rasing her right hand, eyes closed. Maybe finding reason. My own tears tell me that I have reason...no, I have reasons. Far more than 10,000.

Jesus said “Blessed are the poor in spirit...the meek...those who mourn...those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...the merciful...the pure in heart...the peacemakers...those who are persecuted for righteousness sake...”

We experience. We feel. We turn again, and see He has always been there.

We respond:

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul...

Worship His Holy Name

Sing Like never before, Oh my soul

I'll worship Your Holy Name

We are both singing now.